This blog is for my various kinfeels. I'm not entirely sure of my kintypes, but currently think that the broad two categories are avian and feline. Pronouns it/its or any non-binary. I go by the name Isca.
Last night I dreamed that my canines - they weren’t normal human-size, they were fangs, like a scitimar cat - suddenly went wobbly and started falling out freely.
I think my dreams symbolically defanged me? It scared the SHIT out of me in the dream, I was so relieved to wake up and feel my teeth.
Random talon/feet feels today. I haven’t had many kinfeels recently, or at least not many that I’ve been able to sit down and document. But living as high up as I do now is nice for a bird.
I moved and the only seabird here appears to be me. :(
People are shit-talking the noise seagulls make in the morning but seagull-noise at 6am is better than people-noise at 3am (or even 6am).
I mean I’m not a shifter and normally I don’t think of myself as having mental shifts into my actual kintypes, they just kind of exist over and around and inside my physical body. I’ve just been shifting a surprising amount lately, like randomly my body map will change and I’ll look at a body part and go ‘what’s that doing there?’
CONTENT WARNING - MASTURBATION, TMI.
So I had an extremely strange experience (for me) last night.
While I was masturbating, normally at and around orgasm, I kept shapeshifting, having mental shifts that came thick and fast. I never shift normally - I just have this near-constant feeling of two, three, four bodies interlaid around each other - and I certainly never feel like half of the animals I shifted into. I could feel the human body very distantly, but the body map kept changing so one moment I would feel like a small thing and due to the size not feel like I was in my legs, or I’d move my hand and the arm would be thin and end in a hoof. I don’t remember everything I shifted into (for obvious reasons) but I know there was a deer and a beaver. I am a seabird and a cat. Normally. Weird…
Hesitant about publishing this, but I figure it’s always good to share experiences.
Water on my wingsites is the best thing ever, even if a shower and a rainstorm aren’t quite the same things.
Sooo. Interesting. I walk much more digitigrade when I am drunk. Like, I’m not just resting most of my weight on the front of the foot but hitting the heel when I actually take a step, I’m walking on my toes.
I wonder if it’s because when I’m drunk I have less mental capacity to spare for remembering how you’re meant to walk. Not that I have ever found anything weird about digitigrade? Ahhh I’m drunk and confused. I’m going to tag this but please don’t jump down my throat my thoughts are all muddled.
Last night was weird, there was a draught from the window and I could feel it ruffling my feathers on my back. At least that pretty much settles the question I was still pondering a while back of ‘I’m saying I’m a bird but are my wings even feathered?’
I know it’s important to a lot of beings to have reasons behind the things they identify as - spirituality, or brain chemistry, or hormones etc (and this doesn’t just apply to kin stuff either) - but I’ve just never had that? My attitude is that I am what I am, I feel this way and that’s all right.
I don’t really think it matters why I’m queer/asexual/agender/otherkin/whatever the fuck else I am, it’s not like it’s a problem that needs to be cured; to my way of thinking it’s just something that is.